Our last photo together taken before the game on April 15, 2009.
By popular demand, my full written eulogy that was spoken with such heart by my friend, Phil Restivo at the tribute memorial is provided below in tribute to my beloved soulmate who was taken from me before I had a chance to say goodbye.
How do you start a tribute/eulogy about someone so close to you and your heart is breaking in two? How do you get a tribute started when tears are rolling down your cheeks with every memory recalled and knowing no new memories are forthcoming with my sweetheart Irish Princess, Shirley Boo!
I first met Shirley Ann O’Brien due to an impending bus strike in September of 1982. This prompted her to put her name in the Student Union at CSUN asking for a ride to school during the bus strike. As fate would have it, I heard about the news about this possible bus strike and decided I would help a “female in distress” and ride to her rescue, LOL! I called Shirley up and our first conversation ended up lasting 45 minutes. I thought, worst case, I may gain another friend out of this gallant gesture.
When I first picked her up for school at CSUN, she had layers of clothes on her including a jacket (This was September in LA folks). Like Meg Ryan’s character in “When Harry met Sally, Shirley felt cold when it was in the 70’s inside or outside. She reminded me of Talia Shire’s character, “Adrian” in the first Rocky movie, (very reserved and shy and the layers of clothes on first impression). She later would laugh regarding my first impression of her and also that I was only looking for a female on the ride board to take to school during the bus strike, (a fact that I never denied ;-) LOL!!
The first thing we had in common was comedy movies, whether romantic comedies or comedies in general. She was a child of the industry as her dad was a freelance property master working for various studios in Hollywood. She loved TV and the movies and she loved Barry Manilow (an item that caused me more than a little concern at first as I was a die hard Rock n roller)! We were friends at first, having lunch in the student union and talking about classes as we had vastly different majors (Me business, hers Radio, TV and Film). Our first date, (2 months after first meeting) we went to see Poltergeist. She always playfully accused me of picking this movie so she would be forced to hold my hand.
It was not until the summer of ’83 that our friendship heated up into something more and by the end of the summer, we were going steady. Then followed 3 years of courtship while I finished my schooling while she started working and we continued to discover new depths of our relationship. By the time I finished my schooling in 1985, we knew we would be married but we both wanted to get a full year of work under our belts prior to marriage, so I started working in the summer of ’85 and proposed to Shirley on Valentine’s Day in 1986 at Tony Roma’s in Encino! We got married at the Little Brown Church on October 4, 1986.
We always had cute pet names for each other that evolved over time and of course, C-Boo and S-Boo are the most often noted by people that we worshipped with and played softball and fellowshipped with at both Church of the Valley and First Christian North Hollywood over the last 22 + years. Craig Boo and Shirley Boo actually was shortened from “Boo-ba-la” and I believe it is a shortened extrapolation from the Rock and Roll song, “Be-Bop a Lula, she’s my baby” and we were just being silly one night playing around with the words. I cannot recall how Boo nickname actually originated from all of that chicanery. She was also “My Irish Princess”, “My Pidj” from Lady and the Tramp as that was the pet name Tramp called Lady among many other silly pet names. Of course there was our romantic alter egos (Rodolfo and Leilani) that Tim and Kelly Reischauer always teased us about! I would talk like a Latin Lover and she would act like a tropical island princess.
Shirley was always full of life and full of surprises and had an active imagination. She loved to imagine what heaven might be like. She wondered if the Apostle Paul would run Bible studies in heaven because of his complex passages in his letters, she also wondered how heaven was laid out, would it be laid out by the age or era you lived in, could you just walk across a cloud or a gold paved walkway to another era, like the 1800’s, biblical times, ect.. She wondered if baseball would be played in heaven with players like Lou Gehrig, Satchel Paige, Jackie Robinson, ect.., especially after she saw “Field of Dreams”. I always saw that movie was essentially about redemption of a son getting a second chance to make up with his father but she saw a different layer to it also. She saw the character, Ray had to have faith that something special was going to happen without seeing it, in order not to sign the document giving over his farm to the bank. Shirley saw it as having faith and believing in things not seen.
Shirley was always the optimist when I was pessimistic and she was realistic when I was too optimistic. We were at the greatest event in LA sports history, Game #1 of the 1988 World Series. In spring training of that year, she asked me if the Dodgers would make the WorldSeries, would I take her to a game, I said sure (thinking to myself, “Right, fat chance a team 4th place in the division 2 years running under .500 would get to the World Series). When
they won the division, then beat the Mets in the League Championship Series, I fulfilled my promise. I was able to purchase seats in the right field bleachers and before the game started, Shirley dropped most of her nachos on her way to our seat. When she did something similar(sat in her nachos in an August game), Kirk Gibson won the game, scoring from 2nd on a wild
pitch in the bottom of the ninth. Well, lo and behold, the Nacho superstition worked its magic again in the bottom of the 9th, with Gibby hitting the most dramatic HR in Dodger history.
(“That was her story”, she say and she was sticking to it) Needless to say, we partied with our fellow fans in the right field pavilion and were among the last fans to leave the parking lot that night, not wanting to leave and savor the good feeling of that night.
Shirley always wanted to stretch and improve herself and took up comedy writing because she always loved to write (a lot of you who got our holiday letters have her to thank for 90% of the content and that special Shirley flair)! She took comedy writing classes on Melrose
at Second City from a colleague of Ron West, Michael McCarthy. She performed her written pieces – once at Second City and once at Olympic West to a lot of laughs. (Unfortunately, her material is too blue to be shown in this venue today). I am available to show these tapes in private venues for mature audiences only, LOL! She always would ask me in the process of writing this material “Is this edgy enough? Is it edgy and do you think people will laugh? She would always say it with a mischievous twinkle in her eye!”
On vacations, we were like children discovering the world for the first time. Every place we went was like a new adventure to her. Just the fact that we were together, and we had time away from work to relax and enjoy each other’s company made her happy. Whether we were going to new stadiums for my benefit or going to a Broadway show in New York or enjoying the beauty of Maui, the Ozark mountains or upstate New York on the way to Cooperstown, it was all good to Shirley. Shirley could go to a museum in the day and then be in a downtown, rockin blues club at night and feel at home in each setting. (We did that in Chicago one day, Art Institute in the day, Buddy Guy’s Blues Legends Club at night).
At home, she was always planning for this event or that event. Her mind always thinking, “do you think Steve and DeeDee would like to go to this event with us, or will the Arnolds go to Wicked on this night or what new person should we invite to go see the Troubies”. On Saturday’s sometimes, she would like to go out to breakfast at least once a month, to “chew my ears”. It meant she wanted to spend time with me just talking over breakfast usually at Millie’s up the street. Other times, she would like to take extra time resting in “my nook”, while I would just spend time caressing her hair, neck and shoulders. She treasured those special times and I miss them too. (Tears, ‘ ‘ ‘)
Shirley had many quirky behaviors that made her all the more unique. Some of the more interesting: Of course, everyone around here knew of her love for the store Brighton Collectibles, her Brighton wish list (required reading for me for birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas). She was my Brighton Queen. On vacations, she loved to go shopping for souvenirs or as she called them “Chatskies”. Among these souvenirs, a staple was the refrigerator magnet that stated what state, town, city, resort or landmark we had visited. Also, any musical we had seen in LA or NY also required a refrigerator magnet, she was resolute, undaunted in her mission for those magnets. Also, Shirley was a packrat that hated to throw things out and attached a sentiment to almost everything, even wrapping paper with the little gift tag(To and from) on it. If we had a tiff or argument about anything, this was it. Her final quirk was her laughing anytime on TV or in the movies or she heard about someone’s hair catching on fire. Home Alone with Joe Pesci, Kramer on Seinfeld, and the story about Tim’s date in high school or college- the date had too much hairspray and was laughing too hard and her hair caught a candle on the table and caught on fire, and Shirley laughed hysterically. In all other respects, Shirley is a compassionate loving soul, but the image of hair catching on fire just caught her funny bone in a weird way.
Shirley’s compassion for others and her concern for how others perceived her sometimes consumed her. I would always try to reassure her that she has done the best she could and sometimes no matter what you do, you can’t please everybody. Shirley never liked people to be disappointed even as I child. When she was about 5, she had twisted her ankle and couldn’t go out trick or treating for Halloween. Sometime after 8 p.m., their candy ran out and when some late trick or treaters answered the door, Shirley looked for something to give them, went to the refrigerator and found two left over pork chops from last nights dinner, she put one chop in each bag and sent them on their way. (I always wondered what the parents of those trick or treaters thought when they got home and saw pork chops, LOL).
I was always struck by her compassion for people that didn’t have a voice, and were ridiculed or persecuted for something that was out of their control. She saw the negative effects on a colleague at work whom had “come out of the closet” and was ex-communicated from his church. She tried to get him to come to Church of the Valley as this was around 1990 but this man was already broken and felt abandoned by God and went to the occult. Shirley was devastated that she couldn’t lead this young man back to God to heal and passionately angry that a church and people professing to be Christians would drive someone away from Christ’s love. Shirley truly believed what she heard in the sermons that it was our job to love and God’s job to judge or change people. Recently, when the documentary “If the Bible tells me so” came out, Shirley viewed it 3 times and was moved but felt there was a need to have an accompanying book for parents to cope when their children inform them they are gay.
Shirley had come to me with this idea over one of our Saturday breakfasts in January about two weeks before we got noticed we were both getting laid off our jobs. It was one of her dreams that she and I write a book together to comfort other folks that not all Christians are alike and there are some that accept people as they are regardless of sexual preference. We thought we would start the book sometime this year after we got settled in the new house and had an office space to write a book. It was one of her dreams to help people that felt disenfranchised and alienated from God.
In conclusion, whether she was laughing about getting “pie-eyed” over a couple of tropical drinks at a party or on vacation (Remember, Steve Borgard), or sharing a private joke with me or one of our friends or bunking with our friends, the Mehoks on the days following the 94 Northridge earthquake, Shirley took almost everything in stride with a wink and a smile. (Just like the Harry Connick song from Sleepless in Seattle, we did that song in one of our talent shows). Shirley also looked out for her friends (i.e.- on the Yosemite trip with some church friends in 1993 while I was studying for a test to get into paralegal school. A bear entered the campground and clawed through one tent looking for food. After that, Shirley was up the rest of the night on “Bear Patrol” with her flashlight to protect Gracie), she laughingly told me later. Bill Thomas will remember her as “Whirl” after I flubbed the line in our famous “Sonny and Cher” Sketch in 1999 and said “Let’s give it a Shirl, Whirl.” Listen for it later and see Shirley’s reaction. Shirley was a ray of sunshine and was my earth angel with that smile and laugh of hers. I could never stay mad at her for very long. If we had an argument or “tiff” as she called them, she would come back and look at me with those soft green eyes and ask me “Are we still friends? Or Can we be friends again?” My heart would melt and everything was back to normal.
One more story of a private joke that only us two seemed to appreciate at the time. We were at the Hearst Castle in Simeon and the night before we went to the tour, we saw a film in town that showed William Randolph Hearst and the making of the castle and the grounds. At one point our moderator asked us in the audience if we knew the name of the lion Mr. Hearst kept on the premises at one time, I piped up, “Rosebud”, Shirley started giggling and the moderator, said “No, it was Leo” very matter of factly, like he didn’t get the “Citizen Kane” movie reference but neither did anyone else that night except my witty, giggling Shirley who talked for weeks in fits of laughter, “Rosebud the Lion, that was too funny, you cracked me up and they didn’t get it.”
So we need to remember Shirley for her humor, her compassion, her love and laughter and that priceless smile that radiated a room. I know I had it lucky that she and I had one of the “great love affairs” and we will just have to pick it up when it is my turn to reach the pearly gates. I miss her terribly, but I know she is with God and his angels now and she is probably finding out if she can speak with Ben Franklin, Abe Lincoln, Apostle Paul, Mother Mary or her favorite prophet, the prophet Elijah! Shirley was my “One true love” and was the only one that truly knew my good qualities and my warts and what made me tick. I was lucky to have found a love so deep and so profound. We had including our courtship days over 25 wonderful years together. We had great times an we savored our times together. We remembered what our pastor said, that people before they die never regret spending more time at work. They always regret not spending enough time with the ones they love. Shirley and I did cram a lot of life into 22 ½ years but I still feel cheated of many quality years we could have had, with her life force and vitality so strong. I guess in some way, she does live on in others with the donations that were made to save and enhance the lives of others. Somewhere in the states, someone is breathing easier with Shirley’s clean lungs, two other people have new kidneys, somebody is probably seeing the world better with new corneas and other people’s lives have been improved with the bones, cartilage and skin tissues by the always generous and to quote Karen Furno “Fabulous Shirley Prince”!
To all the lovers out there, one of my favorite songs I listened to over the years that has kept me humble and grounded was Don Henley’s “New York Minute”. So, take heed, and do not take the love you have for granted because everything can change in a New York minute. Cherish your loved ones with all your heart and soul!
To my angel above, I will finally say what she always said to her mom or dad, “Bye for now.” “Boo, I will see you on the other side when it is my time. Our love will still always be Always and Forever. Love you Boo!”
